Friday, July 16, 2010
No one else is enough?
When you're missing him *or her* do you ever feel as though, no one else is enough? Your best friend, other military girlfriends/spouses, family, anyone... Just don't help ease any of the pain? As if the only thing that would actually make you better in the least bit would be for the military to just... Send your man right home at that very second for as long as you needed him? These days are terribly discouraging and do nothing good for you. A friend will say, "Awh, I understand." And you'll want to snap and tell them they have absolutely no idea what it's like to go through all of these things. You'll want to tell them how ridiculous all of their problems are and how unfair it is that they can live normally and not adjust a single lifestyle habit to emotionally survive. Another military girlfriend or spouse will say, "Awh, I understand." And you'll want to start explaining to her how much worse what you're going through is than what she went through was. Your mom or dad will say "Awh, I understand." And you'll want to start ranting about how they've never understood and they never will. You'll want to tell them how much easier they had it - unless you have military parents. And if they are military parents, refer back to what you'd tell another military girlfriend or spouse. No one will be able to understand in your eyes, and although you expect them all to try to help you, you don't want their help. I don't know about every single other military girlfriend, but I always miss my sailor. Even when I'm completely occupied and have a to-do list a mile long, he's always occupying a little space in my mind. But the days where I literally can't do a damn thing because I'm too caught up in missing him, I'm almost lethal. Someone could offer me a million dollars, but if I couldn't buy a plane ticket with a direct flight to wherever he was & pay off whoever I needed to pay off to let him off for the day or hell, for the week, then it's worthless and I'll slap your hand for even trying to give me all that useless money. The little things in the day such as getting out of bed, trying to find a shirt that doesn't point out every damn flaw you have, making a complete stop at stop signs, figuring out what to eat, or having to change the toilet paper roll because you used the last piece, just piss you off or make you want to cry. On days like these, what I've found best to do, is take a nap, then force your ass to get up and do something productive. When I say productive, I don't mean go do community service or try to build a house. I mean, read a chapter of a book, reorganize your closet, watch a funny movie, put together a puzzle, go on a short jog or walk. Anything. Anything that will be just productive enough to keep yourself going. If you're around other people, don't allow them to know you're upset, or else they'll ask why. Resulting in an "Awe, I understand." Which we really don't want on a day like this. Don't let a day like this sink you, but also don't try to be super-serviceman-lover-woman and power your way through it, because eventually you will have a major meltdown for all the times you've tried to just undermine how you're feeling. Also, for those who are about to say "Awe, I understand." Just don't. And if you do, and they explode on you about how wrong you are, about how they definitely feel worse, or just stop talking to you or replying to your texts, UNDERSTAND. Because we all have these sorts of days, and if you don't, I wanna know what the hell you're eating to make you glow green, pick up cars and buildings, and make it through "one of those days" where you miss your man and no one else is enough.