Sunday, July 18, 2010

Certain days are just...


Something I've realized that will always help me pull through the pain of the everyday struggles of loving someone in the military, is those days where he just... Stirs up all these feelings that have settled in your belly and you all the sudden feel as though the love is new and more alive than ever again. THESE are the days I live for. The day started with a good morning call. We talked for a bit, then went off to do our own things. I heard my computer ringing - Skype. And thinking it was just one of those people who always wants to talk, I was going to ignore it. (Patrick hardly ever gets on skype and when he does, I get a text first.) Well, turns out it was him. I answered, but my webcam was somewhere within the mess of my room. Ran around like crazy until I found it. And basically, from 4 o clock to midnight today, we've been skype-ing! Talking and making silly faces and just being happy to see each other's faces. Finally, he decided he could no longer stay awake. In the morning he'll be going underway, so he needed some rest. We left skype up and decided we'd leave it on throughout the night. He fell asleep first obviously, because I just HAD to write this blog. And now I can hear him breathing as I type this.

We're doing this for a reason. All of the suffering and hardship we go through while our men are deployed, underway, working, tired, cranky, moody, mean... We do it so we can see their smiling faces. We do it so at one point or another, we can melt in their arms. We do it so that we can share the same air, even if it's only for a moment, or even if it's during an arguement. We do this because there is no other option. We love them, and we have the strength inside of us to hang on even when they're away and all seems impossible. Every person in this world is born with the ability to sustain life, even when they're completely alone. We just have to find the drive inside of us and push it. Push it as hard as we possibly can and never stop. That kind of push comes with real, true, pure love. That's the kind of love that will never go away.

When you're feeling down, alone, sad, nervous, stressed, pissed, exhausted... Take a deep breath and know that very soon, he'll be breathing the same air as you. Very soon, all this will pay off. A day only seems long while it's there, but look behind you. How many LONG days have you suffered through? If you're reading this blog, I can guarantee you're at least... I dunno... Lets say fifteen. You've made it through 5,475 days. If you're thirty and reading this, you've been through DOUBLE that! With many of those being very long exhausting days. They came and went, and now you're here. A day is temporary, love is forever.

Now, to close this blog, I will say goodnight. And I will allow you all to see what keeps the drive inside of me strong and what keeps me from ever letting go of this wonderful sailor whos job and duty make my life a living hell sometimes. What keeps the drive going, is the fact that every time we share the same breath, or I wake up to his face, my world gets a thousand times brighter.

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