Ever realize that he hasn't been on your mind nonstop lately, but you have no idea why? It's like everything else going on (which is alot) has just completely taken over. Your trying your hardest to just get all of the things that need to be done, done. And then when you sit down and relax for the first time all day, you think, holy shit, I have a significant other who is underway/deployed/not here.
So, I started packing about a week and a half ago to move to Virginia to stay with Patrick in his apartment for 3 weeks before I move into my dorm, which is only a few minutes from his apartment. So basically, I've gotta pack EVERYTHING by next week and have it all in my car and ready to go! This is alot to handle when I've lived here my whole life and never had to pack for more than a week and a half. Last weekend my family and I went to Virginia for my college orientation and it was extremely hard being there without him. I was sad, yet very excited to be living there! I got home, and immediately put my nose to the grindstone! I wanted to be ready to move in ONE WEEK!
So, I finally got through packing all of my clothes and sorting which ones to take and which ones to leave here. Surpringly I have only 5 baskets of clothes (smaller baskets) and half a basket of delicates! I sat down with a water on my bed and looked beside me when I sat it down, and saw a picture of my love and I thought WOW, that's crazy. Why haven't I been thinking about him?
This isn't the first time I've realized it. I've realized it many times. It's weird and even I don't completely understand it. It's not a negative thing. Just a coping thing I believe. Ever since I got the exact date for me moving, it's been hard to think of him as much as I usually do. My mind is just a million other places and I can't think about him. It's not that I don't want to, cause oh trust me, I love thinking of my sailor. Even when it results in crying because I miss him so bad.
Well ladies, if you're experiencing this, be thankful for the time-being! I'm not saying this to tell you that you should be happy he isn't on your mind, but I must also say, it's been a ton easier to pack and to get all of my shit together. It definitely won't last and I can almost guarantee that the day before I make that long ass drive, I'll be bouncing off the walls thinking of him. Right now I'm just focused on HOW to make it all happen so I can be there with him!
So, don't fret if you're feeling this way. It doesn't mean you love your man any less, because I sure don't! It just means that your mind is going into "survivor" mode and it's only thinking of the things it needs to get through the day. At the moment, it's hard for me to imagine his voice or his face, or his kiss or his touch. One good thing about that though, I also feel sorta like a giddy little teenager about to go on a blind date! I can hardly imagine what it's like to be with him, so when I finally am, it'll be amazing!
Girls, if you're feeling like this, go with the flow! Get your things done and don't worry so much. So long as you're not thinking of him, versus thinking BAD thoughts or questioning thoughts of him, this is sorta a little break for your mind so you can accomplish stuff. Like I said, it won't last long. And you might be worried cause you feel alot of distance with this when you do actually sit down to relax and the thoughts hit you.
You love him, and he loves you. He's got to focus on his job alot too, remember that! Let your mind wander wherever it wanders, and never question it! Keep your chins up girls and as Patrick and his family said in his last email...
"No matter what, what do Dangrow's always do?" That's what my grandpa always said. And we always replied, "We keep our heads held high and don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff."
Replace Dangrow's with Military girlfriends, and replace That's what my grandpa always said with That's what we ask ourselves. And live by this quote... Because it's completely true... Hang in there girls and from the words of my sailor and his family, don't sweat the small stuff.