I'd first like to say, I'm not experiencing what I'm about to write about *at the moment*, so don't read this as a rant, but more as an informative piece.
Ever have one of those days, weeks, MONTHS, where you honestly feel as though your man is suffering from an extreme case of being bipolar? Then you start to wonder, "Wait, maybe I'm the bipolar one?" But regardless of who is being bipolar, or whether both of you are, things are insane. If he isn't on deployment, your phone will ring around that time he "usually" gets off work or gets a break and THAT name will pop up. You'll jump to answer it because you're so excited to hear from him but if you're really pissed or angry at him, you'll monotonously say "Hey honey" or something of the sort. Immediately, the conversation is pretty much soiled unless you kick ass at sucking up your pride or if you're dating a super-hero-serviceman who can suck up your pride for you. He'll either ask you what your problem is, be an asshole back or pretend like he doesn't know you're upset. You'll reply, "Oh, I'm not upset. Just... Ya know," although each word is dripping with upset-ed-ness. And so the conversation will go on. From very much experience with conversations like this, allow me to give you the best advice I've ever came up with. HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT. If you live by this motto, you will hardly ever argue! And if you do argue, he looks silly in the end. Ever heard the "Be the bigger person" motto? Yeah, this is basically the same thing, although it's referred to as "Love a military person." Now, I'm not saying this to bash our servicemen in the least bit, because although we're going through a lot back home, they're going through more even on an average day at work (let alone when they're deployed). Sometimes we're wrong, and we react the way a normal girlfriend, fiance, wife, whatever, would react - by trying to make him apologize without actually asking for it directly or prying for it. To be a military man lover, you have to be different. That's what gives us a reason to be proud of ourselves - Our ability to be more understanding and different than the other female civies while our loved ones are oftentimes more ridiculous than regular civilian men! They have a very strong sense of entitlement, which, yes, in a way they deserve, although it really pisses us off sometimes because we generally aren't allowed to share that sense of entitlement. But you gotta ask yourself on a neutral day, Do I love him, truly and completely? If you've answered yes, remember that moment in time. Every time you want to argue or explain to him all the things he's doing wrong, realize that it will result in an arguement where he can yell back and say mean and nasty things, or simply hang up the phone. After he calls you all those horrible things and hangs up, all you'll do is fume and want to scream and break things and, if you're like me, cry. Where did that get you, huh? If you were telling him "Honey, the sky is blue." And he said "No, sweetheart, it's brown." And you continued argueing your point, because you KNEW, along with the rest of the people in this world, that the sky was blue, you would still lose. Although sometimes, even though we hate to admit it, we're the ones argueing that the sky is brown. If your rule of thumb becomes he's always right, you'll win no matter what, because most arguements truly don't mean shit in the grand scheme of things. Plus, the more often he thinks he's right, the sweeter he'll be to you for allowing him to be the man. Of course, there are certain reasons to fight. If they must be over the phone, try to come up with a tactful way to argue that doesn't result in his temperature going too high or his sense of entitlement to kick in. Military men are special because why? They defend this great and wonderful nation that we live in. Even if your man hasn't seen any "real action," he's still got his name on a list that could be called to action in a split second and he's still trained to defend our country. They're forced to leave their homes - Their parents, their wives and girlfriends, their children and pets - to learn the skills to defend what we believe in. Military lovers are special because why? Their ability to understand and react differently than the average wife, girlfriend, etc. Take a look at some of your friends and their spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends. Could they put up with what we do? No, probably not. That's what makes us special. So next time you're mad or upset and want to argue, remember why you have the ability to hold your head high and be proud when you say I love someone in the military.